At Last...
Day 335 | Saturday, November 28 | 2009
Guitars...Went for a six mile run this morning at 7:55 pace. Other than it being bitterly cold, it was a nice time. I was wearing shorts and several t-shirts and a cotton sweat shirt but probably could have benefited from the more 'advanced' technologies such as the dri-fit pants / shirts they sell at running stores. I actually bought some pants not too long ago (and a shirt too) but I didn't think to bring them with me.
Today has been a really good day. Went running, spent some time with family / went out to lunch, spent most of the day at the Pimentel & Sons guitar shop, and then played a concert with Hector Pimentel (one of the guitar instructors at the shop) and my Uncle Jim in downtown Albuquerque. Being in the shop is a revitalizing experience -- feels like I am walking around in a nursery, potential for life, mist, and songs. The Pimentels ought to be written about more. So says their website:
Pimentel handcrafted custom guitars that are world renowned. The intimacy of these stringed instruments reflects the careful transfer of craft knowledge across spans of time not experienced by one life. Guitar making is a mellow craft of excellence at Pimentel & Sons, and your visit would become a fond memory.
Day 334 | Friday, November 27 | 2009
Sapphire...Here is the one-eyed dog that my grandma has had for about 10 years (or more?). Her name is Sapphire because of her gorgeous blue eyes. Are sapphires really blue?
Update: I verified that sapphires are really blue.
Anyway, Sapphire is such a sweet dog. She is really calm and mellow and very people-friendly. Unfortunately, she recently has lost vision in her left eye.
Today was a good day -- watched a movie with Grandma, spent time with family, went to the Pimentel guitar shop with Jim, met Robert Pimentel for a drink, and then dinner with uncle Jim at a place called The Sweet Tomato. It was pretty good.
Day 333 | Thursday, November 26 | 2009
Familia...Today is Thanksgiving day and I spent it with my wonderful family here in Bernalillo. Mom and I made some vegan food -- vegan cornbread, curry stew, and a pumpkin riscotto that was all so good. We made the food on account of the fact that there wouldn't be much vegan options for me to have during dinner. There were a couple but not too much. It's okay. It doesn't matter anyways.
So, we spent the day mostly at my Aunt Patty's and her boyfriend Manny's house. Patty is pictured far right, my aunt Syl is in the middle and then my grandma Virginia is on the left.
It's nice to be around family and I am so thankful for them and everything they have done for me in my life. Really!
Day 332 | Wednesday, November 25 | 2009
Albuquerque...Two things:
1) A poem You are Right Sahara that Dale sent me the other week:
You are right, Sahara. There are no mists, or veils, or distances. But the mist is surrounded by a mist; and the veil is hidden behind a veil; and the distance continually draws away from the distance. That is why there are no mists, or veils, or distances. That is why it is called The Great Distance of Mist and Veils. It is here that The Traveler becomes The Wanderer, and The Wanderer becomes The One Who Is Lost, and The One Who Is Lost becomes The Seeker, and The Seeker becomes The Passionate Lover, and The Passionate Lover becomes The Beggar, and The Beggar becomes The Wretch, and The Wretch becomes The One Who Must Be Sacrificed, and The One Who Must Be Sacrificed becomes The Resurrected One and The Resurrected One becomes The One Who has Transcended The Great Distance of Mist and Veils. Then for a thousand years, or the rest of the afternoon, such a One spins in the Blazing Fire of Changes, embodying all the transformations, one after the other, and then beginning again, and then ending again, 86,000 times a second. Then such a one, if he is a man, is ready to love the woman Sahara; and such a one, if she is a woman, is ready to love the man who can put into song The Great Distance of Mist and Veils. Is it you who are waiting, Sahara, or is it I?
--Leonard Cohen from Book of Longing
2) An excerpt from Leonard Cohen's Beautiful Losers:
40.
I have been writing these true happenings for some time now. Am I any closer to Kateri Tekakwitha? The sky is very foreign. I do not think I will ever tarry with the stars. I do not think I will ever have a garland. I do not think ghosts will whisper erotic messages in my warm hair. I will never find a graceful way to carry a brown lunch bag on a bus ride. I'll go to funerals and they won't remind me of anything. It was years and years ago that F. said: Each day you get lonelier. That was years and years ago. What did F. mean by advising me to go down on a saint? What is a saint? A saint is someone who has achieved a remote human possibility. It is impossible to say what that possibility is. I think it has something to do with the energy of love. Contact with this energy results in the exercise of a kind of balance in the chaos of existence. A saint does not dissolve the chaos; if he did the world would have changed long ago. I do not think that a saint dissolves the chaos even for himself, for there is something arrogant and warlike in the notion of a man setting the universe in order. It is a kind of balance that is his glory. He rides the drifts like an escaped ski. His course is a caress of the hill. His track is a drawing of the snow in a moment of its particular arrangement with wind and rock. Something in him so loves the world that he gives himself to the laws of gravity and chance. Far from flying with the angels, he traces with the fidelity of a seismograph needle the state of the solid bloody landscape. His house is dangerous and finite, but he is at home in the world. He can love the shape of human beings, the fine and twisted shapes of the heart. It is good to have among us such men, such balancing monsters of love. It makes me think that the numbers in the bag actually correspond to the numbers on the raffles we have bought so dearly, and so the prize is not an illusion....it was just a shape of Edith: then it was just a humanoid shape: then it was just a shape -- and for a blessed second truly I was not alone, I was part of a family. That was the fist time we made love. It never happened again. Is that what you will cause me to feel, Catherine Tekakwitha? But aren't you dead? How do I get close to a dead saint? The pursuit seems like such nonsense. I'm not happy here in F.'s old treehouse. It's long past the end of summer. My brain is ruined. My career is in tatters. O F., is this the training you planned for me?
Day 331 | Tuesday, November 24 | 2009
Mom...We are back in Albuquerque and I feel so tired. I can't help but fall asleep as I type this -- it was hard to fall asleep on the airplane because I was in a seat that didn't recline for most of the trip. We flew from San Antonio to Salt Lake City and then Salt Lake City to Albuquerque. It is good to be back here, though. I love this city even though after time I would probably find some things to complain about.
Anyways, it's good to be here and I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Day 330 | Monday, November 23 | 2009
Benedict Hall...It is crunch time. I have to get this paper done as if my life depends on it. Five pages about the evolution of Spanish theater and poetry from the years of 1806-1871. I have been working all day on it here at the Perry-Castañeda Library here at the University of Texas and I am really tired of thinking about it. I am so anxious for this quarter to be finally over that I can actually feel my brain pulsate underneath my skull. The only thing standing in the way of this quarter being finished is this paper and I must crush it! Ha.
I am anticipating a huge relief of stress (I have recently gotten four kanker sores in my mouth -- one for each class this term) after this quarter is over along with a noticeable increase in sleep. Speaking of which...I cannot necessarily remember the last time I got a really full night of sleep. What a good time it will be in about 24 hours.
Here is a picture of Benedict Hall, the location for the Spanish & Portuguese Department here at the University of Texas. Turns out it is right by the library here. Before coming on this trip I had thought about visiting the Spanish building on campus, I had known it was named Benedict Hall but hadn't made plans yet to visit it and then, all of a sudden, as I was walking to the library I see a sign that spelled it out. It's exciting to be here but I wish I had more time.
Day 329 | Sunday, November 22 | 2009
Uncle Jim and Steph...Today is the big day and everything went so well! The wedding was so touching and I was very proud to be a part of it. Here is a picture of my uncle Jim and cousin Stephanie before the ceremony. The wedding took place in a gorgeous hillside chapel just south of Austin. The chapel overlooked a valley full of mesquite trees and everything was so beautiful. The wedding was at 5:30 local time, the weather was clear (but a little cold), and all of the colors of the sky blended nicely and softly together by the time of the ceremony. Uncle Jim and I were in charge of the music for the ceremony -- we played Here Comes the Sun, Blackbird, and Danny's Song during the wedding and it was all very special.
I am so happy for Steph and Ben and everyone in the family. This was a special day.
Day 328 | Saturday, November 21 | 2009
Rehearsal...It's been a long day of traveling. Me, Mom, and Dad woke up at about 5 AM to get to the Dayton Airport. It was about an hour's drive and then we had to get through security (another hour or so), and then our flight left at around 7:45. We flew to Atlanta (where we had a layover) and then we flew to San Antonio. Once there, we got in a rental car and drove about an hour and twenty minutes to Austin.
I slept most of the way and most of the day because I didn't get much sleep from last night. Once we got to Austin, we checked into the hotel, went to the airport to pick up Jim and Dustin, and then went over to Steph (pictured left) and Ben's (pictured right) house for the rehearsal dinner of sorts. I am part of the wedding (I will be playing music tomorrow with my uncle Jim) so the small group of people who are part of the wedding congregated in Steph and Ben's driveway. Here is a picture of them practicing their wedding vows and the putting on of the wedding rings.
Tomorrow is going to be so exciting. I wish that I didn't have to write this research paper due Tuesday but still, it's going to be great. In many ways, Steph has been like a sister to me. I remember fondly old memories of seeing her in Texas or New Mexico and having the times of our lives. It's unreal to see her grown up, with an adorable two-year-old baby boy, and getting married tomorrow.
Day 327 | Friday, November 20 | 2009
Packing...Tomorrow morning, Dad, Mom and I will leave to Austin, Texas to meet up with my brother Dustin (and Uncle Jim) to go to my cousin Stephanie's wedding on Sunday. It doesn't seem real that this is all happening -- I've been looking forward to going to Steph's wedding all quarter because Austin is one of my favorite places on earth -- but it would be a whole lot better if I didn't have to write a 5 page explication on Spanish Romanticism by Tuesday. One part of me is telling me to bear the brunt of it and do a lot of work tonight and another side of me is telling me to just retire to bed.
Today has been a long day -- two finals, packing, driving, and then more packing. It's been a hard day too personally and I realize that I have a lot of work to do in my life. We all have handicaps for sure and I need to focus on trying to get well in one specific area of life. I am lucky to have those around me who love me despite my flaws and imperfections. I would feel lost without them...I especially am lucky for Caitlin. Her love is deep, honest, and strong. When I feel like my head is in the clouds, she is always there to bring me back down to earth and hold me in her warm and loving arms. I really love her.
Day 326 | Thursday, November 19 | 2009
Caitlin...My baby took me out to dinner to mark (approximately) our 21 months of dating. Our real anniversary is on the 23rd but I'll be in Texas by ten. This is definitely the longest that I have ever been in a relationship and I feel so lucky. I love Caitlin with every bit of my heart. She is not only my best friend but also the most beautiful woman in the world [to me ;)].
We went to Salaam and even got to sit in the special booth (it wasn't too busy of a restaurant on Thursday of finals week).
Day 325 | Wednesday, November 18 | 2009
Aquatic Basketball...It has been a busy day of studying although I wish I could have gotten more done than I did. Tomorrow I have my Spanish Civilization and Culture exam and I feel a little anxious about it. I cannot wait for this quarter to just be over. It's weird to think that I'll be in Texas this weekend.
Not much else to say about today except that I am tired of studying. I snuck this picture tonight when I took a break from studying at the Donkey.
Day 324 | Tuesday, November 17 | 2009
Tunnel Vision...I met with a friend of mine today though to exchange music and it was a really good time. His name is Nathan and I knew him because I would often see him around in Caitlin's dorm last year. He's a really cool and nice guy and seems like a really good and caring person. He gave me practically all of his music but I forgot to bring all of my music for him. I gave him what I have but I am kind of glad I forgot to bring all of my music so that it gives me a way to plan on hanging out with him again!
Got to get back to work. I am pulling for Caitlin too -- she is facing a hard night because she lost a flash drive that has a lot of her work on it. It may be a long night.
Day 323 | Monday, November 16 | 2009
Every Squirrel...You Don't Know What Love Is
(an evening with Charles Bukowski)
by Raymond Carver
You don't know what love is Bukowski said
I'm 51 years old look at me
I'm in love with this young broad
I got it bad but she's hung up too
so it's all right man that's the way it should be
I get in their blood and they can't get me out
They try everything to get away from me
but they all come back in the end
They all came back to me except
the one I planted
I cried over that one
but I cried easy in those days
Don't let me get onto the hard stuff man
I get mean then
I could sit here and drink beer
with you hippies all night
I could drink ten quarts of this beer
and nothing it's like water
But let me get onto the hard stuff
and I'll start throwing people out windows
I'll throw anybody out the window
I've done it
But you don't know what love is
You don't know because you've never
been in love it's that simple
I got this young broad see she's beautiful
She calls me Bukowski
Bukowski she says in this little voice
and I say What
But you don't even know what love is
I'm telling you what it is
but you aren't listening
There isn't one of you in this room
would recognized love if it stepped up
and buggered you in the ass
I used to think poetry readings were a copout
Look I'm 51 years old and I've been around
I know they're a copout
but I said to myself Bukowski
starving is even more of a copout
So there you are and nothing is like it should be
That fellow what's his name Galway Kimmell
I saw his picture in a magazine
He has a handsome mug on him
but he's a teacher
Christ can you imagine
But then you're teachers too
here I am insulting you already
No I haven't heard of him
or him either
They're al termites
Maybe it's ego I don't read much anymore
but these people who build
reputations on five or six books
termites
Bukowski she says
Why do you listen to classical music all day
Can't you hear her saying that
Bukowski why do you listen to classical music all day
That surprises you doesn't it
You wouldn't think a crude bastard like me
could listen to classical music all day
Brahms Rachmaninoff Bartok Teleman
Shit I couldn't write up here
Too quiet up here too many tress
I like the city that's the place for me
I put on classical music each morning
and sit down in front of my typpewriter
I light a cigar and I smoke it like this see
and I say Bukowski you're a lucky man
Bukowski you've gone through it all
and you're a lucky man
and the blue smoke drifts across the table
and I look out the window onto Delongpre Avenue
and see people walking up and down the sidewalk
and I puff on the cigar in the ashtray like this
and take a deep breath
and I bring to write
Bukowski this is the life I say
it's good to be poor it's good to have hemorrhoids
it's good to be in love
But you don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like to be in love
If you could see her you'd know what I mean
She thought I'd could up here and get laid
She just knew it
She told me she knew it
Shit I'm 51 years old and she's 25
and we're in love and she's jealous
Jesus it's beautiful
she said she'd claw my eyes out if I came up here and
got laid
Now that's love for you
What do any of you know about it
Let me tell you something
I've met men in jail who had more style
than the people who hang around colleges
and go to poetry readings
They're bloodsuckers who come to see
if the poet's socks are dirty
or if he smells under the arms
Believe me I won't disappoint em
But I want you to remember this
there's only one poet in this room tonight
only one poet in this town tonight
maybe only one real poet in this country tonight
and that's me
What do any of you know about life
What do any of you know about anything
Which one of you here has been fired from a job
or else has beaten up your broad
or else has been beaten up by your broad
I was fired from Sears and Roebuck five times
They'd fire me then hire me back again
I was a stockboy for them when I was 35
and then got canned for stealing cookies
I know what's it like I've been there
I'm 51 years old now and I'm in love
This little broad she says
Bukowski
and I say What and she says
I think you're full of shit
and I say baby you understand me
She's the only broad in the world
man or woman
I'd take that from
But you don't know what love is
They all came back to me in the end too
every one of em came back
except that one I told you about
the one I planted
We were together seven years
We used to drink a lot
I see a couple of typers in this room but
I don't see any poets
I'm not surprised
You have to have been in love to write poetry
and you don't know what it is to be in love
that's your trouble
Give me some of that stuff
That's right no ice good
That's good that's just fine
So let's get this show on the road
I know what I said but I'll have just one
That tastes good
Okay then let's go let's get this over with
only afterwards don't let anyone stand close
to an open window.
Day 322 | Sunday, November 15 | 2009
Shooting...Before I leave Athens on Friday, I must make a note of it to post all of the pictures I have not posted yet.
Here is a picture of some sort of filming that was taking place outside of the library this evening. Not sure what they were filming though.
Day 321 | Saturday, November 14 | 2009
Golden Machine...Caitlin took me out for a great breakfast at The Village Bakery (I got the wakeup call) and then I ironically fell asleep for about two hours after that. I stirred up a little bit, got a tiny bit of school work done, and then met up with Ben and Tiana for watching a documentary about Ardipithecus ramidas (our farthest back human ancestor in which we have fossil data for) and then we all went out to dinner with Caitlin at Casa. It was so nice to meet up with Ben and Tiana because they are great people! Hanging out with them / being around them makes me feel good and I am wishing I can hang out with them more and more in the future. I am especially excited to maybe go on our Athens Pinball Shuffle that we were talking about -- Ben is an avid pinball player and can locate all of the pinball machines in Athens (he says there are ten). One day, we will go to all ten of them, play a couple of games, maybe have a picnic, and do other fun things. I don't know exactly but what I do know is that it'll be a great time!
Wonderful day!
Day 320 | Friday, November 13 | 2009
Middle of the Night...I got about a half hour of sleep last night and I am slowly drifting off as I type this. I am going to go watch a movie in a little bit (the movie 2012) as a birthday party for Jim and then I am looking forward to sleeping tonight!
Day 319 | Thursday, November 12 | 2009
Uptown...Today has been a good day. It is a very nice feeling to have the last respective class of the quarter happening today and tomorrow. This has been a very odd quarter in terms of motivation and pace. I am sort of looking forward to seeing it go away.
I talked to Rodrick (a guy I met through Caitlin) today about training for triathlons or maybe half marathons/full marathons. It has always been my goal to do all of the above sometime in my life but I feel like I could be a really good marathon runner. My loftiest goal would be to one day be able to qualify for the Boston Marathon (one must run a marathon at 3:10:59 which is about a 7:17 mile pace for 26 miles) so I have a long way to go. My latest long run wasn't too far off that goal -- I ran 8 miles in 0:59:57 which is a pace of about 7:29 per mile. I'll plan on getting my pacing faster in the short run -- train at the goal of running a half marathon at the 7:00 minute mile pace (1:31:45) and then keep on adding distance to where I could run that fast for 20 + miles. I am in no hurry so I will be careful not to increase mileage too fast. Once break starts, I am going to get into a routine. I am pumped.
I keep taking pictures but I just don't have time to upload them, edit them, file them, and post them. I'll get to that sometime in the not so distant future.
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