Day 318 | Wednesday, November 11 | 2009

To and From the Library...

First off, I just want to say that I am thankful for veterans -- not in the obligatory way but really -- they have made real sacrifice to our nation in many ways. Some have given their physical lives and others have given sacrifices not necessarily tangible. It is nice to have a day to recognize these important people in our country.

Secondly, I got to talk to Dale today and it brightened up my morning. It's been a while since we've caught up and it really makes me feel good when I get the chance to talk to him -- I think he has become my hero in so many ways but he is also a good friend that always carefully listens to me. I love you Dale! One day, when I save up money and frequent flyer miles, I want to come visit you in Taiwan.

Thirdly, Caitlin got her computer back today -- repaired for free! This is great news because she was about ready to pay $840 to have it repaired and then Leslie advised me and Caitlin that we should go to the Genius Bar at the Apple Store in Columbus to try and refute the repair costs. After all, Caitlin's computer is only about a year old and shouldn't be having major issues with the logic board at this point. When we went to the Apple Store on Friday, Caitlin and I seemed a little discouraged if it would all work out at all -- it seemed like the way things were going Caitlin would still have to pay money to have her computer repaired. It was such a great feeling today though to receive word that there was a package from FedEx waiting for her at her room. It was an even better feeling to get back to the room and open up the package and see her computer inside.

Day 317 | Tuesday, November 10 | 2009

Darling Girl...

I got my Spanish paper back today (and got an A+ -- woohoo!) I wasn't expecting a good grade because the professor stormed out of the room about a half hour into class because he was upset that we hadn't prepared for class. It was a very dramatic moment (not unlike the time he did the same thing last fall) and I thought he was going to go to his office to immediately and angrily grade our essays. I suppose he wasn't that angry after all.

Vegan cooking was tonight and it was delicious -- breakfast for dinner night! Tofu scrambler, oatmeal and raisins, fruit salad, and potatoes. The potatoes were the most delicious part of it and the drink was really good too (although I couldn't tell exactly what it was).

I feel like things are going to be okay with the quarter (I had been freaking out a little bit in the past couple of days).

Everything will be fine with the music part of things too. I realize that one of my handicaps is distortional thinking -- my feelings overcome me to the point where I cannot see things too clearly. This is a common emotional problem with everyone. And I want to say, too, that I am grateful for my past experiences -- both the good and the bad -- because they have been mostly enjoyable and have taught me so much. I love everyone that has been a part of my life and I can only hope that they love me back.

Day 316 | Monday, November 9 | 2009

Neighborhood Wall...

Here is a painted wall near where I live. I passed it today while walking home from school.

In other news, I am totally drained from the all-nighter. I had a test today in Spanish Civilization & Culture and a paper to turn in for my 19th Century Spanish Plays class. Work seems to be never ending and I am down and out about it.

My sleep schedule is all messed up. It's 8 PM right now and I just woke up from a 4 hour nap. I probably won't get to bed tonight either.

Later: I am about to fall asleep and it is 4:15 AM.

Day 315 | Sunday, November 8 | 2009

New and Temporary Wheels...

Today is not going well. I am feeling so much stress from school but most of my stress is coming from other places -- the fact that I have agreed to play two shows in the next month. Part of me is wondering why in the hell I did it: All of my songs are so far from being finished, I will never be able to surmount some of the things in the past that have held me or knocked me down, and I am just tired of living in Athens. One of the things that felt great about living in Ecuador is that nobody knew me and nobody wanted or expected anything out of me. I felt like I was reborn when I was there.

I am assuming a lot, however, to think that people know me, want, or expect anything out of me now but that's how it has felt for a while now. As time passes by, it gets less and less and I feel like I can create music again and I have become a lot more comfortable with it. It was just so suffocating (in a way) to be part of the band that I was in because I felt a lot of pretense of how things were supposed to be...

I am hoping that my time off has served me enough to be comfortable with my own voice and my own style without having the constant feeling of subordination.

Either way, I have agreed for real this time to play and I am going to have to do it one way or another. I just hope that these inner voices don't get the best of me and make me helpless, hopeless, and lost.

In other news...

My dad came to Athens today and was able to fix my car -- at least to the point that it started and he drove it back to Cincinnati to the mechanic's. I am going to drive his truck for the next week in return. My dad, what a guy.

Later: I realize now that I was distorted in thinking that I was under a 'constant feeling of subordination' while in the band. That is just not true. If it was ever anything like that, it was only a very rare and fleeting feeling of subordination -- and it only came from one of the four (or sometimes five) members of the band. The only other times it happened was when money was discussed and I don't even want to elaborate on that. It's not worth it.

Also, I was a little off in saying that there were always pretenses in playing in Southeast Engine. That is not true either. I would venture to guess thought hat every band has some level of pretense (sometimes this is functional) operating at hand. Things get to a point in the politics of a band where people are expected to behave according to a certain power structure and it was that subject to which I was referring. It doesn't necessarily make anyone good or bad; it was merely a factor that contributed to my departure.

Day 314 | Saturday, November 7 | 2009

Good Friends...

It's been a rough day -- my car wouldn't start and I haven't been able to get any work done. I am sitting at the library right now and am finally starting things now. It's going to be a long night!

In better news, I played soccer this morning and it was a lot of fun -- I scored a goal even.

Caitlin and I got a quick bite to eat with Evan and Leslie too, which was nice! Here is a picture of us at lunch. Caitlin was telling a joke but I don't remember what it was. I just wish that I didn't feel like I was so busy.

Day 313 | Friday, November 6 | 2009

The Book Loft...

Today has been busy but great. I taught kindergarden class at West Elementary today and it went well (for the most part). There was a substitute teacher and it appeared that the kids were pretty rowdy because of it (and probably because it is a Friday). I taught the class the alphabet in Spanish and some of the boys just were not able to focus or pay attention. They would just play around with each other and boast "I can burp the ABC's in Spanish!!!"

Good thing was that I was able to get them to focus by this little clapping rhythm I picked up on -- I would clap the little three-step rhythm and then the class would automatically clap it back to me. I have also learned to focus on activities in which the children repeat something that you say right after you say it, a sort of call and answer game. That way, the kids get so preoccupied with the game they forget about drifting away and acting up.

After class, I picked up Caitlin and we went to Columbus to see about getting her computer fixed and also to see her family. It was great to see Mark, Susan, Robin, Derek, and (yes) even Penny just for a little bit. We went out to eat dinner with Mark and Susan and it was great to spend some time with them. After that, Caitlin and I went to the Book Loft for a while too before driving back to Athens.

In Athens, we met up with Evan for a little bit before going to bed. Great day!

Day 312 | Thursday, November 5 | 2009

Alden...

Today has been so busy. Endless homework and tests. I feel good about the Anthropology test I just took so at least that is looking up.

Not too much time to write -- gotta go get some more work done. Here is a picture just right outside the library.

Day 311 | Wednesday, November 4 | 2009

Vanity...

Its hard to believe that one year ago today Barack Obama was elected President. Usually the years go by faster as time goes on but I feel that this past year has been strangely slow. Maybe I feel like this because I feel like I have personally grown up a lot in the past year -- especially in the face of certain challenges that have forced me to grow.

I keep on ignoring the "blocked" calls on my cell phone because I know that they are from political organizations trying to raise money for: the Democratic party, League of Conservation of Voters, or any other left-wing organization that wants money. They are calling me because I have given donations in the past but I can't afford to give anything now or in the future. I feel conflicted because I really would like to see a revamping of our 'health care' system in America but I cannot commit to donate time or money right now. A lot of things seem so messed up politically in our country. The Republicans, especially, seem to be out of sorts on almost all of the issues. I consider myself a moderate (leaning mostly to the left) but there is not one thing about the Republican party (or their platforms) that I agree with. This goes for everything from economic issues to social issues.

In general, I tend to simply loathe the bipartisan system in this country and how the media play into the situation. I wish the political discourse in our country could be more pragmatic and less concerned with political capital. Democrats are guilty of this too but it seems a lot more of a problem with Republican's more so. Most of them are sour for losing their seats from the 2008 election, for losing the presidency, and just in general losing their power to control everyone.

Other news ... here is a vain picture of myself that I took this morning. I don't generally like to take pictures of myself.

Day 310 | Tuesday, November 3 | 2009

Early Morning...

So many things to do this week -- a test on Thursday and a lot of preparation for two exams on Monday that are overwhelming me. Everything seems to be happening all at once this week, which makes sense because there are only two weeks (more or less) left in the quarter.

Today has been a cloudy day and kind of depressing (at least not motivating). The only glimpses of sun were during the sun rise (pictured above from my room) I am feeling kind of crappy right now and I am laying in bed instead of going to vegan cooking. Caitlin is such a sweetheart and is bringing me a plate of food from VCW to eat with me here in a little bit. I have been trying to get as much rest as I can in attempt to not get sick. If I get sick, it would really be tough for me to deal with that right now.

Day 309 | Monday, November 2 | 2009

Romance de la luna, luna...

La luna vino a la fragua

con su polisón de nardos

El niño la mira, mira

El niño la está mirando.

En el aire conmovido

mueve la luna sus brazos

y enseña, lúbrica y pura,

sus senos de duro estaño.

--Huye luna, luna, luna.

Si vinieran los gitanos,

harían con tu corazón

collares y anillos blancos.

--Niño, déjame que baile.

Cuando vengan los gitanos,

te encontrarán sobre el yunque

con los ojillos cerrados.

--Huye luna, luna, luna,

que ya siento sus caballos.

--Niño, déjame, no pises

mi blancor almidonado.

El jinete se acercaba

tocando el tambor del llano.

Dentro de la fragua el niño

tiene los ojos cerrados.

Por el olivar venían,

bronce y sueño, los gitanos.

Las cabezas levantadas

y los ojos entornados.

Cómo canta la zumaya,

¡ay, cómo canta en el árbol!

Por el cielo va la luna

con un niño de la mano.

Dentro de la fragua lloran,

dando gritos, los gitanos.

El aire la vela, vela.

El aire la está velando.

__________

The moon came to the forge

wearing her bustle of bulbs.

The boy's looking at her,

looking and looking.

In the disturbed air

the moon moves her arms,

and lewd and pure, lifts

her hard metallic breasts.

--Run, moon, moon, moon.

If the gypsies come,

they'll make necklaces, white rings

out of your heart.

--Child, let me dance.

If the gypsies come

they'll find you on the anvil,

your bright eyes closed.

--Run, moon, moon, moon.

I hear their horses now.

--Leave me, child, don't trample

my starched whiteness.

The horseman came nearer

drumming across the plain.

Inside the forge the child's

eyes are tight shut.

Through the olive-grove they came,

gypsies, bronze and asleep.

Heads high,

their eyes behind their lids.

How the barn-owl sings,

how it sings in the tree!

The moon goes through the sky

holding a child's hand.

Inside the forge the shouting

gypsies weep.

The air maintains its watch,

watching, watching.

Day 308 | Sunday, November 1 | 2009

Sunset on Richland...

Caitlin and I slept in today and it was a nice surprise to wake up at 10:15 and have it be 9:15 (because of daylight savings time). Today has been mostly work / planning for the remaining three weeks. I cannot believe that there are only three more weeks left!

I met with my friend Emily Vargas today to help her prepare for the GRE. She takes it Thursday so I gave her all of the study materials that I had made over the summer. She was a little stressed about taking it in just a couple of days but I think she is going to do fine.

Not much else to say about today except that it's November! Happy birthday Steph (my cousin) although I know you don't read this blog!

Day 307 | Saturday, October 31 | 2009

Southeast Engine...

Southeast Engine made a return in playing live after a six month (and much deserved) break. They all dressed up as 'ghost farmers' for tonight's show at Casa Nueva and I must say that it was a great show. It had been a long time since I had seen them play -- I am not sure if I had ever seen them play with Billy -- and it brought a good feeling to my heart to be there for it.

The music world is, for the lack of better words, really fucked up. Why Southeast Engine is not enjoying the same accolade / fame as bands like Bright Eyes, Okkervil River, or Wilco is beyond me. It is so hard to get recognition / credibility from the Powers that Be and, especially with that being so, it seems like it is not even worth it. Why don't we just accept the fact that the music industry / hype machine is most always wrong and misses writing about really good bands. Anyways, I hope the band's lack of recognition doesn't do them in; I hope that they can keep playing and writing and show that there is still a light on in the attic that is their artistic muse.

I'm going to go see Caitlin now; she's on duty again tonight but only for a couple more hours.

Day 306 | Friday, October 30 | 2009

Hallopalooza...

So today's kindergarden class was a no-go. I showed up to class with my ice cream cone and everything and I forgot that Ms. West (the teacher's name) had sent me an e-mail telling me that class was canceled. It wasn't a big deal -- I just went home and took a nap instead.

Later on I met up with Caitlin and took her out to dinner at Casa before going to Hallopalooza (an event put on by Ohio University's school of music that showcases Halloween songs / flair). The show was really campy and often times hilarious but what really stole the show was this band pictured above. I forgot the name of the band but the amazing thing about their act was that all four members played instruments made entirely out of rubber balloons. It was insane. I couldn't believe what I was hearing / seeing. One guy solely played a five inch strip of latex into a microphone and it ended up sounding like a tenor saxophone. It was crazy.

After the show, Caitlin went back to her dorm to be on duty from 9 until 3 AM. She has the same hours tomorrow night so it's gonna be a long weekend.

Day 305 | Thursday, October 29 | 2009

Kindergarden...

Here is a little ice cream cone I made for my class tomorrow that will help me play a little color / number game with the kids. I'm thinking about going around the room and quizzing them on their numbers and colors and giving them candy corn in return for getting correct answers.

Today has been a good day in general. I overslept my alarm clock but it didn't matter. Classes were good -- in Spanish Civ & Culture we talked about the Generation of '98 writers which I found really interesting. Miguel de Unamuno, Pío Baroja, García Lorca, and several others.

Maybe one day I will be able to move on from teaching numbers, colors, and ice cream to the Generation of '98.

Day 304 | Wednesday, October 28 | 2009

My Cup of Tea...

I love Wednesdays because I only have one class. Today was pretty slow-paced. I woke up really early to get theory work done, went to class, came back, and took about a 3 hour nap. In actuality it was about 2 hours now that I think about it. I went for a long run, got dinner with Caitlin, stopped by the Donkey to get this tea, and now I am home finally updating the blog (putting old pictures in) and I am about to get some homework done.

Tomorrow will be busy -- both Spanish classes and Anthropology. Tomorrow night is Reflections but I am not sure if I am going to go. We'll see.

Day 303 | Tuesday, October 27 | 2009

Yellow...

The leaves are going one by one. Another portraiture of the fall colors. Yellow this time. Today has been a nice day -- classes were not too bad, I went swimming a little after lunch time and Vegan Cooking Workshop tonight was pretty awesome. It was mexican food night and it all tasted amazing. It might have been one of the best, if not the best, meal that VCW has ever had. Really. One would think that Boaz had never left...

This week is going to be exciting / busy. I have a test on Friday, teaching on Friday, and then Halloween is this weekend. Caitlin will be on duty pretty much all weekend but that won't stop me from spending some time with her.

Day 302 | Monday, October 26 | 2009

Red...

I slept for about two hours last night and I am so disappointed in my inability to manage my time. I worked on that PowerPoint presentation for about 4 hours and finally got it done in the late night / early morning hours.

I need to get better at planning and allocating my tasks but most of all I need to get better at focusing.

The leaves are beginning to fall down off the trees and onto the ground. Soon all the trees will be bare and sickly looking.

Day 301 | Sunday, October 25 | 2009

Soccer Players...

Played another game of soccer this morning and we won 2-0! Fun times indeed. I scored a goal and it was pretty exciting. We won the game even though we were playing with five players (usually we play with 7 in this league). The other team had about five substitutes and that made it even more challenging. Still, we pulled it off!

Last night was part fun, part awkward, and part upsetting. It was a nice get together to see Boaz off (he's returning back to New York today) and about twenty people came over for dinner. The food went off well -- we had the Romanian feast I had made before but this time Leslie, Caitlin, Casey and Sarah helped out a lot and made everything possible. The awkward parts of the night were when Boaz kept on insulting Leslie. By now, I've sort of gotten used to Boaz poking fun at Leslie but somehow things just didn't seem right this time. It seemed like something deeper was going on. I could see Leslie trying to reach out to Boaz to try to communicate how she is going to miss him and how much of a friend he was to her and it was a little surprising to see him act so callously rude to her. It was as if he didn't really consider her to be a true friend -- or at least a friend that he valued very much. It all escalated as the night went on and eventually turned into a full-blown argument. Supposedly the two have been arguing online today and it saddens me to see two very good friends be so upset at one another. I can understand pieces of where each of the two are coming from but what I can't understand is both person's inability to reconcile with the other -- particularly Boaz. I wish things weren't so messed up right now.

Regardless, I have lots of work I should be doing (particularly a PowerPoint presentation that is due tomorrow that I just found out about) and I am going to get on it.

Day 300 | Saturday, October 24 | 2009

Halloween Time...

Today has been mostly good. Started off nice with a run on the bike path and then went to Kroger's with Leslie to get groceries for Boaz's going away party. We will be making the Romanian bean mash / rice pilaf that we made about a month ago for him and I hope it all goes well.

After groceries, I went and played a game of soccer and it was a really good game. We started off losing 3-0 and there was about 15 minutes left to play. Somehow, our team rallied and scored four goals in the remaining time to totally turn the game around and win 4-3. It was great. I mean, it would have been fun too even if we would have lost but it was really fun to win a game for a change. I think our record is now 1-1. We have a game tomorrow morning too to make up one of the games that was rained out.

Anyway, I'm about to get ready to make a bunch of food. Here is a picture on my way to go play soccer this morning.

Oh yeah...this is the 300th entry of Beans with Garlic. I'm kind of surprised that it's lasted this long.

Day 299 | Friday, October 23 | 2009

In the Mirror...

Caitlin and I have been dating 20 months since today! I can gladly say that I have deeply valued all of this time I have been blessed to be with her. She is quite a loving girlfriend, an amazing individual, and an even better friend. She's been there with me through thick and thin and I don't know where I would be without her or without her love.

Today is also Ben's birthday and Caitlin and I will go out to his, Matt's and Emily's house to celebrate. I'm looking forward to seeing Ben, Tiana, Emily, Chris, Matt and Sam -- it's really been too long and I'm starting to feel bad about not seeing them. They are all a great group of friends to me.

Today was good; teaching kindergarden was interesting. I thought them colors today: rojo (red), amarillo (yellow), azúl (blue), verde (green), naranja (orange), violeta (purple), café (brown), and negro (black). I don't think any of the eighteen children remembered many of the colors. They all seemed to pick up on the easy ones (rojo; azúl) but just seemed to not pay too much attention to what I was saying. Half the class still thinks I am a girl.

I took this picture outside of Caitlin's dorm while waiting for her to come down.

Day 298 | Thursday, October 22 | 2009

Gold Day...

Another busy Thursday over here and the same old routine except that I went swimming this morning before classes.

Class in the morning, afternoon, and evening and then Reflections tonight with Boaz. It's sort of sad to see Boaz leave but I feel like maybe it's just his time. Leslie and I are throwing him a going away party on Saturday and it should be a good time.

I took this photo on my walk to school. Come this time next week (or the week after) the leaves will probably be gone.

Day 297 | Wednesday, October 21 | 2009

Wax Stand...

Starting Saturday I will get back into writing and posting a picture for each day. Saturday marks the 300th entry and I figure that would be a way to get back into it all. I have all these pictures on my camera that I still need to transfer to my computer and post to the corresponding day but school has gotten so busy that I just haven't had any time for myself.

Today was a really good day. I got my Spanish paper back yesterday and it went very well (my prof. gave me great comments and also gave me an A+) and I got my music theory test back today and scored a 96. Life is good right now. It's been a really hard week workload wise but I am hanging in there. I think staying up all night Sunday night threw things off a little for me.

Here is a little stand / display of Cantrell's honey / wax business here near Athens. They set up every wednesday at the farmer's market on State Street.

Day 296 | Tuesday, October 20 | 2009

Bicentennial Park...

Tuesdays and Thursdays are my busiest days. I have almost all of my classes and then all of my tutoring / extracurriculars those days.

Starting soon, I'm going to put more effort into my blogging (I know I have been saying this for the past week or two but I really mean it). Time is just moving by too fast.

Speaking of which, Boaz is going to leave this Sunday and tonight is his last Vegan Cooking Workshop ever. I know that he has said this before but I think he really means it this time. I am really going to miss having him staying with me -- it's been a really special time.

Here's a photo I took between tutoring and VCW.

Day 295 | Monday, October 19 | 2009

Easy Rider...

I got about 30 minutes of sleep last night and today just seemed like a dream. I am sitting here typing on my log (on Microsoft Word) and I am about to take a long nap.

My test seemed to go alright and I felt really great about my paper.

Also, I took pictures of Caitlin last night with my iPhone while she was not looking -- pictures of her snuggling with Grey Brother :)

Here's a photo of the bike that is always outside my place.

Day 294 | Sunday, October 18 | 2009

Beautiful Day...

I have been so stagnant in my blog it is making me quite depressed. I must update all the pictures I have been neglecting since the end of September. I think after this year is over I am going to discontinue this whole thing. It is getting to be a lot harder for me to do and my energies might be better spent elsewhere. All I have is about 70 more days to go though.

Today consisted of me driving back to Athens and trying to get work done. I am sitting in Caitlin's room right now trying to flesh out a 2 page Spanish paper. It's really nothing much but I am making it harder than it needs to be.

Day 293 | Saturday, October 17 | 2009

My Best Friend's Wedding...

I went to Eric Almer's wedding in Lexington today.

Here is a picture of the two newlyweds (picture uploaded later).

I am so tired (from getting up early and running, driving to Lexington, and just from the recent lack of sleep).

It was really surreal to see Eric (my best friend growing up as a kid) get married. It has been a long time since we have really kept in good touch but I feel lucky to be here today at the wedding.

Day 292 | Friday, October 16 | 2009

Caitlin Hiding...

I spent most of the morning anxious about the day and it actually didn't turn out that bad -- I made it through my classes, I showed up to teach the class (and it was cancelled), and I got to take a long nap to make up for not sleeping too much last night.

Tonight was really great too. Boaz, Garrison, and I made some really good pizza crusts and sauce and we had a bunch of friends over for a pizza party. Even Jonah came over and it was hilarious to see him run around and try to knock people over (Jonah is three). It turned out to be a great day after all.

Here is my baby hiding 'neath the covers before bed!

Day 291 | Thursday, October 15 | 2009

Wild Things...

I had two midterms today -- Spanish Civ. & Culture and one in Biological Anthropology. I felt pretty good about both of them.

Tonight Caitlin and I and a group of friends went to go see Where the Wild Things Are at the midnight showing. We all wanted to sit together and sat in the 2nd row (to my insistence). Boy, that was the wrong choice. My eyes are still sore from watching the moving at such a close distance and I feel like I just came out of an audio/visual prisoner of war brainwashing session.

I should probably see the movie again before judging it. I thought the cinematography was excellent but the writing was poor. There was such little character development it was atrocious. The level of communication between characters never surpassed a certain superficial watermark and it just felt empty. The puppetry and animation was superb though. Cool visual presentation of characters; nice photography.

Here's a photo of the group of folks I went with to see the movie acting like Wild Things outside of the Athena Grand.

Day 290 | Wednesday, October 14 | 2009

Farmer's Market...

A friend of mine and I were talking yesterday about how the mind works, how memory works, and some of the armchair philosophies you can make while waiting an hour between classes. We noted that memory is a particular burden -- one that approaches a limit and needs to be cut off. Can you imagine a brain that we could remember every detail of every month, week, or day of our life. I have noticed with this exercise of writing down daily events and taking pictures that I still can't remember everything entirely. I can only remember January 7, 2009 for what I have written down and little else. Or worst yet, I can only remember September 2007 by things that I would have considered broad and unspecific at the time. I would take the stance that we are fortunate not to remember everything all at once. Think about all of the painful memories we have. Surely I am not a model nor microcosm of humanity but I have noticed that I have several more entries tagged with 'feeling crappy' than with 'feeling good'. That is to say that it is more probable in my life experience that stressors have occurred more than things that have made me happy.

What kind of life is this that renders this true? I remember reading a book a while back called Happiness is a Serious Problem -- explicating the theories of why we need or aspire to be happy and how that mindset molds the rest of our experience. There, the approach to happiness transcends the idea that is a personal goal and develops more as a moral obligation. The truth then, is that happiness is not necessarily a condition that falls on us (as we would be the passive receivers) but instead is an earned condition -- something that we have to actively work toward. I remember when I first read the book (I was particularly unhappy at the time) and the ideas were illuminating.

We owe it to ourselves and those around us to work on our happiness, happiness leads to goodness and decency, and happiness goes hand in hand with spirituality of one's being.

Day 289 | Tusday, October 13 | 2009

Boaz the Golfer...

I slept in a little bit today and then Boaz taught me yoga. It was really hard this time but I felt relaxed after it was done.

Today is a full day -- lots of class, tutoring, vegan cooking, and then more work.

I think I am going to upload all of the pictures I have not been putting up either tonight or tomorrow. I have been really lazy lately.

later: here is Boaz at vegan cooking pretending to be a professional golfer.

Day 288 | Monday, October 12 | 2009

I am so exhausted. I owe Caitlin some sort of compensation for helping me late through the night and the early morning.

This week will be really hard.

I just went to classes today, volunteered at the study abroad fair and then went home to take a nap. Nothing at all that spectacular.

At the end of the day I relaxed and played guitar before going to bed.

Day 287 | Sunday, October 11 | 2009

Good Friends...

There is so much work to do and I feel so behind. The truth is probably not that I am behind but I only feel that way.

Today was nice to take a small break and have lunch with Leslie and Evan. I really like Leslie and Evan because they make me feel relaxed and that nothing is as bad as it really seems. They just want to listen to me and cradle me like the baby that I am. They are really unassuming people and I am lucky to have them as friends.

I am also so lucky to have Caitlin. Today she helped me so much with my presentations and helped me when I felt discouraged and I do not know what I would do without her.

Day 286 | Saturday, October 10 | 2009

Cool Runnings...

Caitlin and I ran in the Empower 5K run today. It was really fun -- Clare planned to meet up with us and we also ran into Jamie, Shaena, and Dee Dee.

Running this morning made me feel motivated to get work done (and there is lots of it) so I have been here in the library all day today working on a powerpoint presentation for Monday. I hope to get enough done so I won't be freaked out with loads of work on Sunday like I always seem to be.

Nothing else for today.

Day 285 | Friday, October 9 | 2009

Cold Souls...

Today was a completely crappy rainy day that had no inspirational qualities whatsoever. I did not have any time or motivation to get work done and I didn't do anything last night or this morning for class. I feel completely unprepared for the day and am wondering why I go at it sometimes. I didn't read any of my readings, I didn't finish my theory work, and I only feel so-so on my lesson plan for teaching the kindergarten class.

Maybe it is the weather but I feel totally hopeless. I wish things would be better...

later: I don't know why I worried so much -- everything turned out fine. I still was able to actively discuss everything in each of classes (despite not reading the lecture materials) and my kindergarten class went so well. I gave all of the kids spanish names and I taught them how to count numbers 1-10 by playing them a song on my ukulele. The kids kept coming up to me every minute or so to ask me what their name was again in Spanish. It was at that moment that I realized that none of them could read the name that I gave them on their name tags. Another funny note was that all of the kids were unsure of whether I was a boy or a girl (the long hair).

Also: Caitlin and I went to see the movie Cold Souls with Clare and it was really good (I recommend seeing it either in the theater or on home rental).

Day 284 | Thursday, October 8 | 2009

Boaz...

I have been meaning to get up early all week to get things done but I just keep pressing the 'snooze' button all the time. The word snooze is so stupid.

I am at loss for what to say. Today I went to Reflections and it was really enjoyable. Boaz discussed three different mental/physical/emotional/psychological types in aruvedic (sp?) medicine and it was interesting. My type is a pretty strong kapha.

Here is a photo of Boaz himself. I have been meaning to try to take more pictures of Boaz but he is so hard to photograph. I feel nervous about thinking about photographing him and here I settled for a mediocre shot.

Day 283 | Wednesday, October 7 | 2009

Graffiti...

More busy day than usual -- we made up some lost time in both my Spanish classes by having class. Previously my professors had been out of the country and some classes were canceled. Today I signed up to run in the Empower Campaign 5K run this Saturday. I went for a five mile run today and felt great so I think Saturday will be nice.

I have a bunch of work to do and I feel overwhelmed as usual. This graffiti on the sidewalk that I saw today sums up my current attitude perfectly.

Friday I will be teaching Spanish to kindergarten children and I feel unprepared. I also need to do a ton of reading and I feel lost. Everyone I know is having a party this weekend too and, although I want to go, it would be a big mistake to do everything on account of all the work I have to do in the next week.

Day 282 | Tuesday, October 6 | 2009

My Tomato-Nosed Pup...

Today was the first time that I have really ever done yoga. This morning, Boaz taught me some basic exercises and I must say that it was fantastic. I am really eager to learn more from him and to get in a regular routine. Although I think it was really difficult to maneuver and focus on my breathing, I felt extremely relaxed after all of it and could feel the immediate physical benefit with my eyes closed on the floor.

Other than yoga, today was pretty great. I had lunch with Caitlin when I took this picture of her holding a cherry tomato as her nose. She looks so cute! The rest of the day was somewhat uneventful -- more class, tutoring, and then Vegan cooking. Tonight at vegan cooking we made 'American' food -- bbq-marinated tofu, coleslaw, among other things. It was really good! I take that back. Vegan cooking was eventful and delicious.

Day 281 | Monday, October 5 | 2009

Monday Night Lights...

Nothing much to say about today other than that I have not been very inspired to keep this blog going. I haven't been updating it lately (for about a week) and I have just been writing without publishing now because I feel like I am going through the motions. I feel like this blog is no longer a space for me to just be. I am not sure, though, that it ever was that sort of space -- I am aware that people other than me read it and it might not be wise for me to write everything that is on my mind.

Should I keep going on with it or should I stop? That is the question I am trying to figure out. I feel like I should at least go on until the end of the year to complete my original intent if nothing else. If at that time, I find that I should stop or continue on in a different way I will choose then. It doesn't really matter anyway.

Took a music theory mid-term today, went to class as usual, and that's about it. After class, I did laundry, went running and did some homework.

Stopped by the soccer fields to watch some of the intramural teams play.

Day 280 | Sunday, October 4 | 2009

If Only I Could Jump Into That Colorful Dream...

Today was a bad day. I felt completely unmotivated to do anything and I literally stayed in bed all day. The only time that I left the house was to eat dinner with Larry and Jamie. It was nice to see Jamie and Larry but it was just a crappy day overall.

Day 279 | Saturday, October 3 | 2009

Outside My Apartment...

Yet another great day today. Soccer game in the morning went just okay -- we lost 3-0 to a team called The Blue Meanies. It was kind of an unlucky game for us. We had so many chances but we just couldn't execute the act of scoring a goal.

Mark and Susan came today and I am very grateful (they brought me a coat to wear as the weather has gotten colder and colder.) It was so nice to spend time with them too -- we went to a couple art exhibits -- one in Baker and one in the Kennedy gallery at the Ridges. The first gallery in Baker showed some of the works of a print maker (I cannot remember his name right now) and the second gallery at the Ridges was a show of collectibles and antiques from Athens county. It was all great and then afterwords we went to eat at Casa.

When we got back to my house later Boaz, Sam, Leslie, and a group of others came by to watch The Darjeeling limited. Caitlin and I decided not to watch the movie, though, because we were so tired.

Day 278 | Friday, October 2 | 2009

Today was one of my favorite days of 2009 so far. Although it was a little cloudy today (there was a later a little burst of sunshine -- when I took this picture) and I felt discouraged after meeting with my professor, our dinner tonight was really wonderful. Boaz and Sam did most of the cooking -- we had potato rolls (think an almost flaky spiced biscuit consistency with mashed potatoes wrapped inside of them), a vegetable soup, corn on the cob, some marinated and steamed kale, and vegan apple pie for dessert. The food itself was so good that I could not believe it came from my kitchen. I made the potato rolls for the most part (although Boaz made the dough), but Boaz and Sam made everything else. I am so lucky to have them here!

The night was also special because of the great people that were there -- Leslie, Dan, Mauricio, Boaz, Sam, and Caitlin. We all sat down while we ate our dinner and shared some sort of item, thought, or memory with the rest of the group. Boaz elected to 'share' me with the group by playing a few songs on guitar and I couldn't refuse. It was about that moment when Larry came over (some of his friends then soon followed thereafter). I chose to share a short film by Mitchell Rose called Elevator World which I find particularly hilarious. Go to www.mitchellrose.com for videos. Caitlin chose to share the video from her blog of a man reading a Rumi poem, Leslie gave out cards that she had made for everyone and read a piece of her own, Mauricio shared some tokens that were important to him and explained some of his valuable memories, Sam shared a poem by T.S. Elliot, and Dan performed an absolutely mind-blowing presentation of the didgeridoo. The didgeridoo is an Australian instrument (created by native Aborigines I believe) that resonates with a constant low-pitched din. What was surprising about the way Dan played the instrument, though, was that he was able to do imitable sounds through the instrument while circularly breathing. He played for about 3 or 4 minutes straight, while intermittently interpreting the careful sonic nuances of the bark of a dingo, or the squeal of some animal one might find while strolling the Australian Outback. While Dan was playing, I looked around and noticed that everyone's jaw in the room was practically drooped all the way down the floor in amazement. Of course Dan couldn't see this because he had his eyes coolly shut, sitting like Budha on my living room floor with a five foot instrument jutting out of his mouth as if he were talking through the trunk of a tree.

Day 277 | Thursday, October 1 | 2009

Caitlin...

Today was not that great of a day school wise. I got my paper back and I got a lower grade than I expected to get. My professor's reasoning for giving me a lower grade did not seem that sound either.

I don't know what it is but I just don't feel that motivated this quarter. Last year and over the summer I had felt really focused and determined but it seems now that it is all slowly dissolving. I cannot explain it.

Other than that, today has been a great day. I went and saw Caitlin tonight at the Donkey and she was so wonderful. She played an open stage set for about 15 minutes and played about 5 songs. Everyone had a glowing review of her performance (although she will be the last person to acknowledge her own success).

Also, I spent some time at Reflections on Sacred Life (an event that Boaz leads) and it was very nice to be there. I picked up the guitar and played a few songs and it actually felt somewhat comfortable for a change.

Day 276 | Wednesday, September 30 | 2009

Afternoon Break...

Today was great. Only two classes and not a whole lot of work. Boaz made a really delicious lunch -- rice, butternut squash soup, cucumbers with lemon juice on top, and some cut up potatoes. It has been really great having him here and I feel lucky.

Not much else to say for today.

I'll add a picture later.

Took this photo between my 1 o'clock and 3 o'clock class.

Day 275 | Tuesday, September 29 | 2009

Boaz is here...

I didn't get to bed 'til late last night / early this morning. My paper turned out alright and I am glad to be done with it. I think my biggest problem with it was just time management -- I am still struggling with this! -- and I just need to work on finding better focus.

I am so glad that Boaz is here -- he'll be in my apartment for the next month because he needed a place to stay. I can't wait for all the fun we'll have and all the things I can learn from him. He is a very interesting person with a lot of things to offer the world.

Today has been a little off-color and I am not sure why. Maybe it is because I have gotten so little sleep. I was parking today on Court Street and I made a obvious error in pulling back into traffic as I was parking, almost hitting an oncoming car. The car honked at me and the driver look quite mad. I didn't think much of it and I just went inside the store I was going to and forgot all about it. When I came out of the store and then back to my car though, someone had stuck a note in between my car door that read, "Learn how to park ASSHOLE."

So again, it hasn't been the most thrilling day based on that anecdote.

On the bright side, today was the first day of vegan cooking, I got to spend time with Caitlin, and school seems to be going okay.

I'll add the picture later.

Day 274 | Monday, September 28 | 2009

Light Bed Reading...

Ha. Right.

I have a paper (albeit only 2-2 1/2 pages) that is due tomorrow in which I essentially have to compare two early 19th century Spanish plays. The task is actually relatively easy (one is a quintessential Neoclassicist play and the other is clearly Romantic) but it is utterly uninspiring. There is nothing that I would rather not be doing right now other than not writing this paper.

How's that for triple negatives?

Today is a happy day in general though. Boaz is here and I am excited for the next month. I am also excited about life in general. Lately I have been a grouch but I think that will change within the next week or so (or at least I hope so).

Day 273 | Sunday, September 27 | 2009

Sometimes Houses Look Like People...

This morning at 4 AM Caitlin and I were woken up by the blaring fire alarm. We shuffled downstairs and out into the rain so that Caitlin could direct the congregation of Biddle Hall residents. It was all such a blur at first, to be woken in the middle of the night and stand in the rain in pajamas. As I started waking up, things just kept getting weirder. The rain increased and then the next thing I knew I saw Alan (one of the other RAs in Biddle) carry a handicapped resident out of the dorm door in his arms cradled like a baby. The resident was still in his white briefs underwear and it was all mad. Ben is the resident's name and he is unable to use his legs. I helped Alan hold Ben up for a couple minutes and everything just turned absurd. There we were cradling a man in his underwear in the middle of the night in the pouring rain. It started to rain harder and Ben got cold so we decided to carry him over about 200 ft to Lincoln hall so he could get dry. We waited there for about ten minutes until the police had cleared everything up and then we went back inside. After that, I had trouble falling back asleep and I when I finally did I didn't wake up until about 10:00.

Today has been mostly slow in terms of getting school work done but I have gotten a lot of other things done.

I am excited for this week even though it will be hectic. I have so much to do and so little time to do it.

Took this photograph on my street. The house looks like a face to me.

Day 272 | Saturday, September 26 | 2009

Empty Chair...

It's been a few days since I've posted in 'real time.' No apologies over here though. I have been busy with school and I this will happen from time to time. There are things more important than blogs sometimes. Speaking of which, I have noticed that some of my friends have been starting blogs, wordpresses, or even tumblrs lately and it's interesting. I often wonder if such things are related in any way to what I do here on Beans with Garlic or not. If so,...welcome to the boring and somewhat static world (or in some cases even more boring) of hyper-space being.

In my daily act of posting pictures, I in no way claim to any more advantage of knowing than from one person to the next -- I am only interested in documenting a pin prick of each daily perspective as it was and can never be again. What I am not interested in doing, however, is to use this medium as a some sort of domineering soap box to push down what I think is cool down other people's throats. This is just a space for me to be; you can imitate it or blacken it all you want but I'll still remain.

.... or maybe Times New Viking says it better with their advert designed to promote their new LP Born Again Revisited ...

(pardon the language there)

Welcome to my little corner of the world!

Edit: OK, so I don't really mean 'fuck your blog' to all of my friends. Maybe I went a little too far. It was mostly satire anyways. In all honesty, I really enjoy all of my friends' blogs (except for maybe that one friend of mine's blog to which this whole rant is directed). In short, we will all perish and die in the end so trivial things like this don't matter, right?

Edit of an Edit: I am sorry for being mysterious, brooding, and spiteful. It is really not a good way to act. Flowers for everyone!

Day 271 | Friday, September 25 | 2009

Romanian Feast!..

Tonight Caitlin, Leslie, and I got together for our weekly meal. I made Romanian Pilaf and Romanian Bean Mash. It turned out really great! It was all vegan too :)

Life is good and there are some exciting things that are about to happen. Dad comes tomorrow for the afternoon and the next week is sure to be great.

Day 270 | Thursday, September 24 | 2009

Perfect Day...

Today was a really good day. I took Caitlin out for dinner at Casa Nueva and then surprised her with tickets to see Yo la Tengo at Stuart's Opera House.

I have never seen a music show quite like this -- the stage presence and energy exuded by the players was very zen-like. It was as if the players never felt like the music was ever really out of their control. The guitarist played like a mad man -- he was hurling and slinging his guitar around the stage like a dog stripping a bone raw. His solos and inflections were truly possessed. I am so glad I got to see this show -- it goes up there among the best shows I have ever seen for sure. Caitlin and I went with our good friend Rob and it was the perfect end to a perfect day.

Earlier on I recorded this song using my the video feed on my computer. I put some hackneyed effects on it to make it look antiquated but I don't care. The song is Nuestro Juramento by Julio Jaramillo and here are the lyrics:

Nuestro Juramento

No puedo verte triste porque me mata tu carita de pena; mi dulce amor, me duele tanto el llanto que tu derramas que se llena de angustia mi corazón.

I cannot see you sad because it kills me

Your little face (full) of sorrow, my sweet love.

It pains me so much, the tears that you spill,

That my heart fills up with anguish.

Yo sufro lo indecible si tu entristeces, no quiero que la duda te haga llorar, hemos jurado amarnos hasta la muerte y si los muertos aman, despues de muertos amarnos más.

I suffer unspeakably if you sadden,

I do not want doubt to make you cry.

We have vowed to love each other until death

And if the dead (can) love,

After dying, to love each other more.
 

Si yo muero primero, es tu promesa, sobre de mi cadaver dejar caer todo el llanto que brote de tu tristeza y que todos se enteren de tu querer.

If I die first, it is your promise,

Over my cadaver let fall

All the tears that spring from your sadness

And let everyone hear of your love. 

 Si tu mueres primero, yo te prometo, escribiré la historia de nuestro amor con toda el alma llena de sentimiento; la escribire con sangre, con tinta sangre del corazón

If you die first, I promise you,

I will write the story of our love

With my whole spirit filled with emotion;

I will write it with blood,

With the tinted blood of the heart.